A female reader speaks out on behalf of many others against "political correctness and the castration of the American Male" (according to other readers this is going on EVERYWHERE!). There is a solution, and it's a great idea, no matter where you live.
I got an e-mail from a reader who sounds like she's about as fed up and downright pissed off as a woman can get. She's got a beef with the world's over-reaction to feminism and political correctness in general, and is issuing a wake-up call. Meet Gail:
Hi David,
I'm angry right now, very angry, and it might have been better if I had waited to share this until I was a little more composed, but I've been angry for months, and I've shared this repeatedly with my girlfriends and realize that doing so is not accomplishing anything because I'm SO "preaching to the choir" that it's ridiculous. I've got to share it with someone who can help me do something about it, and I'm starting with you.
My husband of 28 years is a wuss. He wasn't a wuss when I married him, or for years after I married him. He's a production manager at a large manufacturing company, and got to that position because he was an excellent leader, strong and decisive, but always fair, and tried to be a good motivator. If he doesn't straighten up soon, he's going to lose his job, and he may even end up losing me, if I don't kill him first!
You see, he went to this seminar that was supposed to help him be a better manager, and from what he told me, it amounted to a pep rally for touchy-feely people and about the only thing he came away from the seminar with was the idea that he needed to pay his employees personal compliments to make them feel like he was interested in them as people, not just employees. I think this is ridiculous, because you show people you are interested in them by asking them questions, not saying flattering things, but that's beside the point.
There was a woman who worked under him - I call her a woman, but she was a gold-digging hussy just watching for a chance to sue somebody - and when my husband complimented her on a nice hairstyle one day, she went to the HR department and filed a sexual harassment complaint! He spent the next six months being raked over the coals by corporate attorneys, HR consultants, attending "sensitivity training seminars," etc., to finally get the little bitch satisfied and still be able to keep his job. He's now been so mentally and emotionally battered that he's afraid to talk to women, including me!
He used to be so very strong and confident. He walked into a room like he owned it because he did. Now he walks into a room looking as if he expects to be attacked if there's a woman there. We've talked about it, and he says the problem is that the legal threats and the threat of losing his job after 31 years with the same company made him realize what would happen if he were to suddenly lose his job this late in life, and how little it might take, and it "spooked him" as he says.
I've just bought your book for him, and if it has everything in it you say it does, I'm pretty sure he'll be okay. He or I may have questions; will it be okay if we contact you? If so, how?
Thank you in advance for your help,
Gail F.
My reply:
Well, Gail, to say I'm feeling your pain would be an understatement. What you describe was one of my main motivations for writing "THE Man's Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage." I'm not an antagonist or provocateur, but I am as disgusted with all this politically correct nonsense and the wussification of both men specifically and people everywhere in general that I could about puke. There was a time when I would have offered an apology if the word "puke" offended anybody's fragile sensibilities, but today, I just really don't care. I say it to get the message across, not to try to offend people.
Getting back to the subject at hand, congratulations! I see all kinds of corrective action being taken here. Discussion with your husband and nailing down the problem is a huge and wonderful step in the right direction, one that, unfortunately, many couples couldn't pull off. Identifying a path back to your husband's old alpha male (and therefore highly desirable and effective leader) self and taking the first steps down that path are also commendable.
To answer your questions, I read all e-mail, answer as much of it as I can and still remain productive, and any questions and answers that can benefit all readers, as you know, appear here in this newsletter with the senders' consent. If your husband needs a session with a personal coach to speed up the process he can e-mail me at support@makingherhappy.com, but it shouldn't be necessary. You've made an excellent start with my book, and I'm going to suggest to you that in your case, you skip the beginning material on evaluating your relationship for now and have him start with the communication section. He is one of the few whom I would say should complete the evaluation after he has cured this crisis of confidence; your relationship is obviously on a solid foundation if you are taking this route to try to help him.
In your case, the communication section will help him regain his confidence in speaking to women because he will be better prepared to pick up hints and signals, which will in turn help remove that "vulnerable and lost" feeling, one of the main reasons I put it before the attraction section. Then have him continue through the attraction section, and work with him as he goes through it. If you want to be really supportive, read a bit ahead of him and try to round up copies of books, movies, etc., that are mentioned as good examples so they will be convenient for him. It will speed his progress, which you'll both appreciate, and the two of you will thoroughly enjoy watching movies like "The Fountainhead" and "Don Juan DeMarco" together.
Speaking of examples, there is one that is not yet in my book that I need to add, and while it is about U.S. Americans (I personally hold all people in this hemisphere as Americans, since we live in "North, Central," and "South America"), it is an interesting read and full of good examples for all men to follow, regardless of where you live. The book is called "The Greatest Generation," by Tom Brokaw. I never cared for Brokaw's politics or the political slant in a lot of his reporting because there's a big difference in reporting the news and trying to influence the public's perception of it, but the details in this book about the men very often describe heroic alpha males, and regardless of your feelings for Brokaw or U.S. heroes of World War II, the role models found there are effective, and it makes for interesting and productive supplementary reading.
One other thing that I need to bring out and that you need to point out to your husband is that "sexual harassment" is only a workplace issue as far as legalities go. It is a workplace issue because you are compelled to co-exist there for the sake of your employment. That doesn't give one license to be chauvinistic, rude and obnoxious everywhere else, but that does mean it is the only place where a man may have to actively avoid any kind of sexuality, so if he is concerned, he should contain his concern to the workplace and be himself - his respectful but assertive and naughty, and therefore FUN self - everywhere else. He just needs to see examples of it being okay to be the way he used to be so he can get back in touch with it, just like most men.
Take care, and keep in touch,
David
There you have it, folks. And it doesn't have to this way. It's not difficult to talk to women, nor is it difficult to learn how to read them. In fact, it's so easy that there are some women on our forum, http://forum.makingherhappy.com, teaching men how to do it - on the Internet, using only written text!
If you (Gentlemen) or the man in your life (Ladies - it's just wrong that I even have to say that, but I know I'll get a ton of smart-ass comments from you jokers if I don't! LOL!) are feeling castrated, there is a fix, guaranteed effective, in "THE Man's Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage." Download your copy today at http://www.makingherhappy.com and get back to being the man you were born to be.
In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!
David Cunningham
"Being a man is something to which one should aspire, not something for which he should apologize." --David Cunningham
Relationships sometimes come to an end. Women, including you, long for the love and support of a man, and when it comes on getting an ex boyfriend back, they will do anything to win him over. If you have gone through a breakup, it can be painful, obscure and heartrending. You might even feel like it is the end of the world. However, it is not. More often than not, you ex boyfriend may be going through something that he needs space and time to cope with the matter. When the time is right, you will have a dire chance of getting your ex back and be happy once again.
You can call your ex boyfriend on phone, but you must be discrete in doing so. Calling your ex once or twice every week is enough to keep you in his mind. You will only look desperate on getting your ex back if you are calling him almost every day, which you have to avoid at all cost. You have to restrain yourself.
Do not day other guys after the break up. If you are getting your ex back, do not worsen the situation by getting involved with other men. This will only contribute to more wreckage on your strained relationship. Keep n mind that you are convincing your ex boyfriend that you are seriously getting him back. Dating somebody will only show that you are not in love with him anymore and make getting your ex boyfriend back harder, which you definitely have to refrain from implicating.
Never forget his birthday, as it is one of the most vulnerable days in his life when you can cut through and get your ex boyfriend back. Call him, send him a card, buy him a gift, etc. This will make him feel that you are still thinking about him, and this might soften his heart. Be nice to him on his big day, but never open up your past relationship with him blatantly.
When your ex boyfriend speaks about your relationship, learn how to listen. Understand what he is trying to show or tell you. You need to know his side of the story if you are really determined on getting your ex back. You have to know what is on his mind and what he is trying to tell. If he asks about anything, give him an honest reply. If you have nothing to answer tell him so. If you want your ex boyfriend back, you have to be patient.
Also, avoid getting jealous with other girls if you are trying to get your ex boyfriend back. Once you break up with your boyfriend, remember that you have lost your rights and claim on him. This means that he is not bound with you and he is free to do everything he wants. However, do not fight fire with fire if you are getting your ex back. If you think you can, stoop low and humble yourself, but do not act like a martyr. Show him that you are concern about getting your relationship back.
Last but not the least, to get your ex boyfriend back, you have to be desirable on his eyes like the first months of your relationship. This will make him remember and reminisce about the things that you have in the past. If something hits the spot, he will be on you again right away. Just be patient and wait for him to recover. Remember that you are getting your ex back, and you must never pull of something that will make things worse and decrease the chance of getting your ex boyfriend back.
Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):John Shore - Seven Reasons Women Stay In Abusive Relationships
Amy Waterman - Your Guide To Stronger Relationships
Chris Jackson - Get Your Ex Husband Back Everything You Need To Know
Labels: catholic pick up lines dating online dating black men online dating building self confidence books on line dating advice pick up artist training neil strauss mistery john barban negative body language alpha male affirmations
Reference: gamma-male.blogspot.com
Lots of talk about this lately, what with the amount of paranormals, and sci fi romances out there. And (because I can be slow) it's taken me a while to really understand what this means.JR Ward said she cemented the rules of her world really early on in her Brotherhood series, knew what she could and couldn't do, and you know, I really bought in to her world.Her characters seemed to be true to her world, which made me believe it more.I know that's a cryptic statement, and the best way I can explain is using Historical romance. There is occasionally talk of world building in Historicals, but mostly it comes across as historical details and getting them right. And sure, don't have your character flip a light switch in the regency period.For me lately, it's become less about the details and more about how the characters interact in their environment.For example, a regency romance, where the focus is often on the heroine, a lovely young woman from a good family making a good match. And then in the course of the book, gives up her virginity without any real thought, for either herself, or her family.This happens a lot and usually drives me nuts. For me, it's often a case of the author setting the rules of their world, and then abandoning them to drive the story forward.If the author started by creating a world of upper, upper class where money and position drove the marriage process and affairs were ignored, then I'd buy into the above scenario, which for the regency period isn't historically inaccurate. (really awkward sentence, but can't think of a better one, sorry)Just something that's been top of mind for me. My heroine is a young woman from an impoverished family, not hoping to make a good match and I'm trying to think how she feels about a pre-marital affair. And I'm setting rules for my world, that I'm hoping will take me through 5 books. I know if I screw it up now, I'll end up paying down the road. (no pressure)And on a completely side note: some amazing books out there. If we haven't raved enough about Sherry Thomas, well here's more. Read her second book, Delicious and it's so good. And it's a lesson in world building in a historical and characters staying true to their world.
Dalam NLP dikenal istilah "INTENAL MAP", tetapi saya lebih senang menyebutnya dengan istilah "BANGUNAN LOGIKA", yang menggambarkan bahwa logika internal manusia memiliki struktur seperti halnya "bangunan piramida", artinya kita hanya dapat meletakkan suatu benda dalam struktur piramida jika benar-benar terdapat benda di bawahnya yang berfungsi sebagai penyangga.
Demikian juga dengan "sugesti" ! Sugesti dapat dianalogikan sebagai benda yang akan kita letakkan di benda lain, dalam hal ini adalah "bangunan logika" yang telah ada sebelumnya di pikiran bawah sadar. Jika tidak terdapat benda yang dapat berfungsi sebagai penyangga yang cukup kuat, maka benda baru atau "sugesti" baru tersebut akan jatuh dan hancur berantakan !
FRACTIONAL HYPNOTHERAPY BY YAN NURINDRA.
Dalam dunia Hypnotherapy, modifikasi dari satu metode ke metode lain merupakan hal yang biasa, karena sekali lagi bahwa kita tengah berhadapan dengan superkomputer tercanggih di jagad semesta, yaitu "otak manusia" !
Berikut ini saya akan "sharing" suatu metode Hypnotherapy, yang saya sendiri tidak yakin apakah metode ini pernah dibahas atau belum pernah sama sekali di bahas di buku-buku atau jurnal-jurnal Hypnotherapy ?. Karena metode ini merupakan hasil penalaran dari pengalaman empiris saya dalam menangani Client di TranzCare, dimana secara rata-rata saya melakukan treatment sebanyak 4-5 session per-hari (durasi 1.5 jam per-session). Sekaligus saya mohon comment dari para pakar NLP dan Ericksonian di Portal ini, mungkin ada teori resmi yang mendukung hal-hal yang saya dapatkan melalui pengalaman empiris tersebut ! Thanks !
LATAR BELAKANG
Dari pengamatan saya, terdapat suatu perbedaan yang "sangat jelas" antara "sugesti" dalam kondisi hipnosa, dengan "peristiwa yang terjadi sebenarnya", walaupun dalam teori dasar dikatakan bahwa sub-conscious "tidak membedakan" antara "fakta" dan "bukan fakta" misal "sugesti" !
Sebagai ilustrasi, misalkan seseorang melihat langsung suatu peristiwa kecelakaan (walaupun hanya selintas), maka kesan yang memasuki "pikiran bawah sadar" akan sangat kuat sekali, bahkan dapat merubah "neuro-path". Sebaliknya jika kita melakukan hypnosis, misalkan terhadap seseorang dengan potensi somnabulism (sangat sugestif), lalu kita skenariokan yang bersangkutan "melihat" kecelakaan yang sangat mengerikan dan lengkap dengan segenap detailnya, dan dilakukan sugesti dalam waktu yang cukup lama (misal 1 jam), maka tetap saja kesan yang memasuki "pikiran bawah sadar" tetap tidak "sekuat" peristiwa langsung, bahkan seringkali kesan ini akan "terhapus" atau mengalami "desensitization" hanya dalam beberapa jam saja !
Apa yang terjadi sesungguhnya ? Apakah teori mengenai "pikiran bawah sadar" itu salah ? Tentu saja tidak ! Mungkin yang salah adalah proses sugesti yang tidak "sejalan" dengan "logika" dari "pikiran bawah sadar" yang bersangkutan, atau tidak ikut-serta-nya emosi yang merupakan salah satu "perekat" antara sugesti dan pikiran bawah sadar.
Dalam NLP dikenal istilah "Intenal Map", tetapi saya lebih senang menyebutnya dengan istilah "Bangunan Logika", yang menggambarkan bahwa logika internal manusia memiliki struktur seperti halnya "bangunan piramida", artinya kita hanya dapat meletakkan suatu benda dalam struktur piramida jika benar-benar terdapat benda di bawahnya yang berfungsi sebagai penyangga.
Demikian juga dengan "sugesti" ! Sugesti dapat dianalogikan sebagai benda yang akan kita letakkan di benda lain, dalam hal ini adalah "bangunan logika" yang telah ada sebelumnya di pikiran bawah sadar. Jika tidak terdapat benda yang dapat berfungsi sebagai penyangga yang cukup kuat, maka benda baru atau "sugesti" baru tersebut akan jatuh dan hancur berantakan !
Nah, inilah yang merupakan "pembeda" antara "peristiwa yang sungguh-sungguh terjadi", dengan "peristiwa yang direkayasa melalui sugesti Hypnosis" ! "Peristiwa yang sungguh-sunguh terjadi" akan "selalu" menemukan penyangga yang dapat membuatnya menjadi "kesan permanen", sedangkan dalam "peristiwa yang direkayasa melalui sugesti Hypnosis" terkadang Sang Hypnotherapist tidak mampu meletakkan "benda baru" tersebut ke penyangga yang tepat, atau lebih persisnya Sang Hypnotherapist tidak dapat menemukan penyangga yang tepat !
Dari penjelasan singkat di atas, maka dapat disimpulkan bahwa suatu "informasi" masuk melalui "kesadaran" atau setidaknya ada proses "kesadaran" yang lebih dominan, maka akan lebih "permanen" dibandingkan dengan "informasi" yang langsung "dimasukkan ke pikiran bawah sadar" melalui proses Hypnosis. Dengan kata lain pengaruh "kesadaran" sangat penting untuk "mencari" penyangga yang tepat yang terdapat di bangunan "bangunan logika".
Di sisi lain, kesulitan untuk memasukkan "informasi" melalui "kesadaran biasa" adalah adanya proses filtering dari "critical area" yang cenderung menganalisa, sehingga dengan dasar inilah proses Hypnosis diperlukan.
Oleh karena itu timbul permasalahan yang dilematis, yaitu : melalui "kesadaran" menjadi sulit diterima, sedangkan melalui "pikiran bawah sadar" cenderung untuk kehilangan "penyangga" di "bangunan logika".
Dalam teknik Hypnotherapy moderen maupun NLP muncul berbagai metode yang antara lain untuk mencari "penyangga" dimaksud, sehingga sugesti akan masuk "secara manis" menjadi bagian terintegrasi dari "bangunan logika" yang sudah ada sebelumnya. Dan pada tulisan ini saya mencoba untuk sharing melalui pendekatan yang berbeda !
Berikut ini saya akan memberikan tips berdasarkan pengalaman menangani Client, yaitu melalui suatu teknik yang sementara saya istilahkan dengan nama "Fractional Hypnotherapy", yaitu suatu sesi Hypnotherapy konvensional (Trance Hypnosis) yang berlangsung secara marathon tetapi dilakukan secara terputus-putus, yaitu misalkan setiap sesi berlangsung dalam waktu 15 menit, tetapi berlangsung misalkan sebanyak 5 sesi dengan jeda sekitar 10 menit yang dimanfaatkan sebagai feedback-interview.
Filosofi dari "Fractional Hypnotherapy" ini adalah membawa Client pada suatu diskusi mengenai permasalahannya setelah yang bersangkutan menjalani suatu sesi. Diskusi ini harus dibuat sedemikian rupa, sehingga akan membuat Client "secara sadar" memasukkan informasi baru tersebut, sehingga dapat menemukan "penyangga"-nya sendiri !
Contoh sederhana, Client yang mengalami "ANXIETY DISORDERS".
PRA-INDUKSI
Penjelasan mengenai hubungan Anxiety dengan kemampuan pengelolaan emosi. Mungkin pada tahap ini Client hanya sekedar "menerima", tetapi belum meyakini bahwa pengelolaan emosi adalah kunci dari penanganan Anxiety.
TREATMENT SESI-1
Buatlah Client mengalami emosi positif, dan juga memiliki kesadaran bahwa setiap orang dapat memilih untuk setiap saat selalu berada di emosi positif.
DISKUSI SETELAH-TREATMENT SESI-1
Lakukan diskusi dengan Client mengenai pentingnya kemampuan mengelola emosi. Nah pada saat ini mungkin Client akan berbicara "seakan-akan" bahwa ia "sangat, memahami" pentingnya kemampuan mengelola emosi.
TREATMENT SESI-2
Buatlah Client benar-benar selalu dalam emosi positif, dan selalu menghindari emosi negatif.
DISKUSI SETELAH-TREATMENT SESI-2
Diskusi dengan tema bahwa ternyata setiap orang dapat memilih untuk selalu dalam kondisi emosional positif. Tanyakan pada Client apakah kemampuan mengelola emosi yang selalu positif ini apakah ada pengaruhnya terhadap Anxiety ? Pada saat ini mungkin Client sudah memiliki pendapat yang benar-benar berbeda (reframing) mengenai Anxiety.
TREATMENT SESI-3
Buatlah sekali lagi Client benar-benar selalu berada dalam emosi positif, dan tanyakan apakah Anxiety tersebut masih ada ? Dan bila masih ada, yakinkan bahwa ia dapat menanganinya.
DISKUSI SETELAH-TREATMENT SESI-3
Diskusi dengan tema apakah Client yakin bahwa dengan meningkatkan kemampuannya untuk mengelola emosi positif maka Anxiety-nya akan hilang ?
Dan seterusnya....!
Dalam proses diskusi (setelah treatment) anda disarankan menggunakan teknik interview dengan jurus-jurus NLP (meta-model, meta-program, PTS, dll), yang sekaligus dapat meng-eksplor sambil juga "memasukkan" !
Nah, tentu untuk jurus-jurus NLP ini, lebih relevan ditanyakan ke para pakar yang lebih kompeten di bidang ini, misalnya mas Ronny FR, pak Syaiful Bachri, mbak Mariani, dsb. Soalnya kalau saya yang membahas, nanti malahan jadi NLP "Rock 'n Roll" lagi... alias "ngarang-ngarang" istilah sendiri...!
Intinya dari proses "Fractional Hypnotherapy" ini adalah membuat Client dapat menemukan sendiri "penyangga" di "bangunan-logika"-nya, sehingga seluruh sugesti yang diberikan benar-benar dapat menjadi bagian (atau setidaknya lebih mendekati) dari "bangunan logika" dari Client.
Ok, selamat mencoba ! Dan sekali lagi mohon comment dari para pakar untuk dapat memberikan padanan berdasarkan sistematika di keilmuan NLP ataupun Ericksonian Hypnotherapy.
Maap, jika ada salah-salah kata ! Tabik !
DISKUSI KOMENT :
RONNY FR
Mas Yan,
Saya mengacungkan jempol atas eksplorasi dan temuan Anda yang luar biasa. Fractional Hypnosis (keren !) merupakan suatu karya yang cantik, dan merupakan proses temuan yang memiliki nilai strategis bagi pengembangan metode terapi hipnotis.
Well saya betul-betul tidak heran, jika 10 tahun kedepan akan ada Nurindranian Hypnosis. Hehehe bener nich! Ohya, terima kasih juga kemarin sudah ditraktir Wedang Ronde dan mendapatkan diskusi yang amat inspiratif...
BTW, menangapi undangan diskusi dari Mas Yan..., semoga seperti yang Mas Yan harapkan, amien :
Salah satu penyebab bangunan logika / internal map hasil sugesti tidak sekuat jika pengalaman itu berasal dari indra adalah karena faktor inputnya tidak bersifat sensory base / indrawi.
Sugesti hypnosis yang dilakukan pada saat klien "tertidur hypnotic" pada umumnya menggunakan kata-kata (bukan rangsang visual dari mata, dan dari indra lain), maka secara indrawi inputnya hanya menggunakan channel dari telinga (A).
Sementara kemampuan seseorang untuk mengalami synesthesia tidak sama, tidak semua orang ketika kita mengatakan "buah apel" maka lantas ia akan melihat apel atau merasakannya. Beberapa ya hanya mendengar suara/ kata apel itu saja.
Inilah sebabnya kenapa dalam NLP, internal map (atau istilah Mas sebagai bangunan logika) disebut sebagai representational system. Yaitu suatu system yang bekerja di dalam otak, dimana circuit neurologis akan merepresentasikan ulang apa yang dialami oleh indra (stimulus) sehingga menjadi suatu internal map.
Dalam training level master practitioner, seorang akan dilatih untuk membangun dan meningkatkan "sensory acuity" secara serius, agar kualitas asupan informasi yang masuk melalui indra akan meningkat secara dramatis dan pada gilirannya akan menghasilkan suatu kulitas representasi yang semakin bagus. (RED : sensory acuity = secara sederhana bisa diartikan sebagai kemampuan indra menerima, membedakan, dan melakukan koding-koding informasi untuk di salurkan ke otak).
Jadi sebuah pengalaman riil (melalui indra), akan memiliki suatu kekayaan rangsang yang jauh berbeda dibandingkan dari hasil sugesti yang hanya melalui telinga klien saja. Dengan demikian, suatu pengalaman riil akan memiliki representasi yang jauh jauh jauh lebih kaya, karena melibatkan 4 tuples (V, A, K, O/G).
SOLUSI
Dalam perspektif NLP, seorang terapis perlu memiliki kemampuan untuk :
* Melakukan Eliciting Preferred System dan Lead System dari si klien, sehingga bisa dilakukan pacing/matching VAK-nya.
* Kemampuan untuk melakukan sugesti, yang meskipun dilakukan secara auditorial, namun akan mampu menstimulasi otak untuk menggenerate gambaran, perasaan (KOG) yang paling mendekati aslinya. Umumnya saat seseorang mengambil kelas practitioner belajar melakukan reformulasi kata-kata yang semula menggunakan predikat V, kemudian di ubah menjadi K ataupun A sebaliknya.
* Yang ini bukan persoalan VAK, namun persoalan jenis sugesti. Dalam tradisi Ericksonian atau NLP Milton Model, dikenal suatu istilah gaya bahasa yang permisive, yaitu suatu cara berkomunikasi sugestis dimana selalu dilakukan proses chunk up (masuk ke wilayah ambigu).
Misal, suatu contoh sederhana :
Direct Sugesti 'ala hypnosis non ericksonian :
"Pikiran bawah sadar Anda mulai sekarang melihat rokok seperti melihat suatu makanan yang rasanya kunyit yang tidak Anda sukai." (Cat : terapis tadi sudah menggali bahwa klien tidak suka rasa kunyit)
Ericksonian (permisive - chunk up) :
"Saya tidak tahu bagaimana caranya, pikiran bawah sadar Anda dengan mudah dan alami akan mengetahui sendiri bahwa rokok sudah menjadi suatu yang tidak lagi Anda sukai..., sekarang...., ya betul...., seperti itu..... bagus!".
Dalam istilah NLP, cara pertama merupakan suatu "pemaksaan MAP" dari si hipnotherapis. Sungguh terasa di sini bahwa cara pertama terapis ber-asumsi MENGETAHUI hal terbaik dan cara terbaik bagi kliennya.
Cara kedua secara kontras berbeda sekali, cara ini jelas-jelas MEMBERIKAN RESPEK pada map klien dalam proses pembentukan MAP si klien (re-mapping). Hypnotherapist hanya memberikan arah (direction), yang akan membuat alam bawah sadar bergerak dengan caranya sendiri, yang terbaik yang paling cocok dengan isi dan konstruksi dari bangunan logika dalam map si Klien. Dengan demikian, hasil sugesti akan memiliki landasan atau batu pijakan yang kuat, karena diletakkan oleh si klien sendiri, bukan "dipaksakan" diletakkan oleh si terapis... (yang mungkin letaknya tidak pas dan kurang ekologis...
Cara kedua dipenuhi dengan bahasa ambigu, yang berisi deletion, distortion dan generalization..., sehingga alam bawah sadar akan mencari sendiri makna yang paling pas dengan dirinya....
Yaaaah,
Tentunya masih banyak hal dalam NLP, yang bisa membantu seorang terapis dalam memfasilitasi suatu perubahan.
Catatan:
Bagi beberapa orang, pendapat di atas ini bisa memberikan kesan bahwa NLP dan Hypnosis adalah domain yang terpisah dan harus diperbandingkan kelebihan dan kekurangannya.....
Anehnya, kesan ini akan menjadi hilang dengan sendirinya secara alami, saat kita berhenti sebentar dan mulai menyadari bahwa NLP adalah ilmu modelling. Ilmu yang memodel semua ilmu lain (termasuk hypnosis) yang memiliki keunggulan agar bisa di duplikasi dengan mudah oleh orang lain. Berbicara dengan para pembaca sebagai seorang manusia, maka dengan caranya sendiri, pikiran kita akan mengerti bahwa NLP bukanlah teknik, NLP bukan pula terapi. Demikianlah, sebelumnya orang biasanya tidak menyadari bahwa NLP adalah suatu sikap, NLP adalah suatu metodologi, yang membuat dirinya jauh lebih mudah dalam memahami sesuatu, melakukan sesuatu dan bersikap terhadap segala sesuatu.....
"NLP is an attitude and a methodology which leaves behind a trail of techniques."
- Definition by Richard Bandler
Salam hormat untuk semua kawan SESAMA pembelajar NLP...
Ronny FR
Pembelajar NLP
YAN NURINDRA
Wah ini baru siip ! Ada gayung bersambut versi NLP ! Artinya misal melalui teknk sugesti yang sudah diolah dengan ilmu NLP, sehingga akan semakin "dekat", plus dengan teknik Fractional, maka "kebenaran"-nya akan semakin mendekati ! Jadi bukan sekedar "implant" biasa, tetapi mirip dengan "implant gigi" yang harus ditanam fondasinya sampai menyatu dulu dengan gusi (tanpa penolakan tubuh), baru bisa dipasang gigi palsu-nya ?! Kayaknya makin jelas bahwa "salah satu" manfaat NLP adalah men-support Hypnosis ! Hypnosis akrab dengan kegiatan ber-trance ria, dan NLP dapat mensupport proses diagnosa dan "obat", agar lebih "tajam".... ? Semoga nggak salah ! Thanks Mas Ronny !
Ref : Yan Nurindra [http://portalnlp.com/artikel-teknis-fractional-hypnotherapy/]
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I got alot of very last best sellers: Jonathan Kellerman, Danielle Steele ("Irresistible Forces". I'm not as a matter of course a Steele reader, but this one, naturally, I've read), Catherine Coulter, all kinds of stuff. "Consistent Kith and kin" by Judith Guest.
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It has been so long since I've read any of these books that I can't delay to be able to compare this to the near historicals that I've read over the former lifetime, most of which are Regencies.
I penury give birth to some save reading time over the subsequent week or so, sitting in doctors' waiting rooms. It looks like my kid may give birth to broken down her ankle getting out of a friend's car the further night. She got her calm down fanatical in the seatbelt and landed on the further calm down...heard a clap...owie. We had x-rays at the ER and she's in a household of a half-cast splint piece until we see the orthopedist on Monday. They didn't see a custom break, but think existing is everything about the growth crown that needs to be addressed. She's function fairly well so she's not lost in thought about any person thinking she's a big cheat. I'm fairly specific that if there's a cast, her weight will be safe.
