"When all of your desires are distilled, you will cast just two votes; to love more and to be happy." - HafizWho doesnt want to live more wholeheartedly? Who would deny deeper experience of being alive and connecting more powerfully with those they love? Who says no to a deeper experience of joy, a chance to contribute to the success and wellbeing of others? Unless we are seriously deranged, the choices above are cheerfully made, provided we have the courage and know how. The self-help business generates billions of dollars a year in revenues from those seeking to improve performance, create greater happiness or escape emotional suffering. Of course, there are cynics who put down anything they do not understand or havent experienced; wedded to their belief system that everything is a scam or sham.We are a "brain-dominated" society where high IQ scores have been valued over caring and connecting. We typically hire for technical knowledge, past experience and intelligence, either not knowing how to or neglecting looking for emotional intelligence in those we interview. (Southwest Airlines and Starbucks being notable highly successful exceptions, with a clear focus on the heart quotient). We define ourselves by financial success, our accomplishments or achievements without checking the quality of joyfulness or aliveness in the relationships we claim are most important to us. We lose our way in the maze of the mind and neglect the only thing that can create the life we long to live. We ignore the heart at our peril.During the years researching and writing "The Heart of Leadership" and then "The 7 Acts of Courage" I talked with highly successful senior executives in industry, communities and the military. I also talked with those who had experienced significant failure. Since then I have worked with many more executives and a clear pattern has emerged. The common element across all groups is a longing (for those who were successful as well as those who had fallen) to have used or cultivated more of the wisdom and power of the heart in their lives and their work. Every one expressed that they could have done more, been better, had more satisfaction in their families and been happier with what they had accomplished if they had only shown a "bit more courage" or "determination" or "had been willing to be more honest with themselves and others. " All of above qualities: determination, courage, honesty and self-awareness are heart centered and in the realm of emotional intelligence.It is a simple statement of fact and repeated observation of thousands of people that leaders become much more effective, in all aspects of their lives and work, when they step into the wisdom and power of the heart. They also become more alive, vital, dynamic and happy. Not a bad deal at all. Yet, at first, many balk at stepping into the realm of the heart, of facing the challenges of becoming more emotionally intelligent. Why the resistance when the rewards are so great and the need so compelling when we look at the sub-optimal state of many families and much of the leadership being practiced today? The biggest reason is simply fear - fear of what might be discovered, fear of the messy business of dealing with emotions, fear of not being able to rationalize away unpleasant feedback, criticism, feelings or behaviors, the fear of not being as accomplished or adept as in the mental sphere of activity. The second factor limiting greater success in living, more love and happiness is addiction - being addicted to old patterns of thinking, behaving and relating, being addicted to being "right" as well as the addiction to being protected by the zone of comfort we have created around how we work and relate to others. The third greatest factor has to do with our habitual ways of thinking and the learned cynicism of our age. It takes a great deal of determination and courage to face what we really fear and to move forward. It takes courage and determination to begin to dismantle or step beyond our addictive patterns or defined personality and to let go of the self-limiting shield of cynicism.Feeding our heads more knowledge will not do it. The answers we need and the steps forward are into the realm of heart. Do you have the courage to go deeper, to step into the power and vibrancy of a more Wholehearted process of living and leading?Robert Earl (Dusty) Staub, II is a nationally known author, currently with three books in print, and the founder and CEO of Staub Leadership Solutions. He facilitates leadership development programs for individuals and organizations and is based in Greensboro, NC. Questions can be addressed to dusty@staubleadership.com or call (336) 282-0282.
Keyword : leadership,wholehearted leading,7 acts of courage,staub leadership solutions,leadership training
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