Alexander Lilly Events Page You want to give your future- fiancee the best proposal possible, so be sure to take every aspect into consideration. For a simple guide to the best engagement, follow these Do's and Don'ts of proposal preparation! DO respect traditions. It may seem old-fashioned, but asking your girlfriend's father for her hand in marriage is still considered standard protocol for a proper proposal. Whether it's entirely necessary or not, it is a very respectful gesture, and when it comes to your future in-laws, respect will go a long way. You don't have to make it an overly formal event, but you may want to invite your girlfriend's parents over for a private dinner or an afternoon cup of tea to discuss your intentions to marry their daughter. You'll want their approval, their blessing, and their support before you propose, but you'll also want to establish a mutually respectful relationship with the people who will one day be your family members. DO make proper introductions. Traditionally, the bride's parents should invite the groom's parents to dinner so that everyone can get properly introduced before the wedding. In modern times, it is not uncommon for couples to make the dinner arrangements themselves. Feel free to schedule a meet-and-greet dinner for both of your parents. Taking the initiative will send a positive message to your fiancee's parents. It will also help you establish good communication between your two families. DO get your fiancee's input. Couples will typically pick out their wedding rings together, but you may also want to pick out her engagement ring together. True, proposals are far more romantic when the woman is surprised with a ring, but more often than not, women will want a say in the most important piece of jewelry they'll ever own. Many modern brides prefer to design their own ring with their fiance, so you may want to discretely look at engagement rings pre-proposal to get her opinion before your purchase a ring. DO get your engagement ring insured. Engagement ring insurance is a must if you plan on spending anything more than 500 (here's a hint: you should probably spend more than 500 on an engagement ring). Homeowners insurance and some renters insurance will cover jewelry between 500-1000, but you'll need a ring-rider policy for anything worth more than that. Have your engagement ring professionally appraised, and then get it properly insured. A diamond may be forever, but that diamond will not be forever protected unless it's insured. DO plan to take pictures. You may want to hire a professional photographer or simply ask a friend to stand by with a camera at your proposal site to capture the precise moment when you pop the question. You'll want to look back on the momentous occasion, and your fiancee will definitely be grateful that you planned ahead with such consideration. DO prepare to get down on one knee. The tradition of kneeling during a marriage proposal dates back to the medieval era, when knights would kneel before their ladies at the start of tournaments as a sign of servitude to their beloveds. Not only is it a beautiful tradition, but getting down on one knee to propose to your leading lady will make your proposal that much more romantic. With that in mind, make sure that wherever you propose, you'll have room to get down on one knee. If you're planning your proposal at a crowded restaurant, where the tables are literally back-to-back, or perhaps at a ball game, where the guy next to you spilled beer by your feet, then you may want to pop the question somewhere else, where you'll actually have kneeling room. DON'T try to memorize your proposal speech if you're nervous. If you're a shaky public speaker, if you get easily tongue-tied under pressure, or if you're just plain old nervous about making your proposal perfect, go ahead and write down your speech on note cards. Your fiancee will have a keepsake forever, and she'll always be able to remember your exact words when you asked her to spend the rest of your lives together. DON'T stall your proposal if you're nervous. If you've planned an elaborate evening for your proposal, but you're anxious about stuttering through your proposal speech or drinking too much wine and forgetting everything you want to say, don't put it off. You don't have to wait until the right moment in the conversation or the first moment of silence during the fifth course. The night should revolve around your proposal, not the other way around. Go ahead and get down on one knee right away. You'll probably have a much more fun and interesting evening once you're engaged anyway! DON'T wait until the last minute to prepare. If you've known for months (or years) that you want to propose, then you should prepare for your proposal with as much dedication. There's no rush to propose if the weather is poor or if you need extra time to save for an engagement ring. Taking additional time to perfect your proposal is nothing compared to a lifetime together, so a little extra effort should pay off. If your ring isn't quite ready or if you're feeling too indecisive about which ring to choose, don't just propose without a ring. Instead, make a plan. Propose in or outside of a jewelry store or at a romantic location close by. Or, use a romantic stand-in ring, like a pebble, as penguins use to entice their prospective mates, or a ring-pop, until you can choose a ring together. However you plan to propose, show your future-wife that you've taken the time to make your proposal special. DON'T talk about your proposal too much. You should talk to your parents and your girlfriend's parents before you propose, you may want to consult with her closest friends for advice, and you'll most likely want to discuss it with your closest friends, but telling everyone about your intentions to propose could easily blow the surprise. For one thing, you should do your best to keep the proposal a secret from your girlfriend so that she can be genuinely and pleasantly surprised when you pop the question. For another thing, if you hype it up to everyone, you may get nervous under the pressure. For a third thing, the more people you confide in, the more outside opinions you'll get, and that may not be helpful. You may end up getting confused or second-guessing your great original ideas. Keep it simple, sacred, secret, and on a need-to-know basis. DON'T over-plan. If you over-plan every aspect of your proposal, then you'll rely too heavily on the details, and if something unexpected should occur, you might not be prepared for it. Instead, keep things simple and flexible. The simpler moments often unfold more romantically anyway. DON'T abort the mission if there's a glitch. Remember that plans, as everything in life, are susceptible to last-minute changes and unexpected obstacles, and that's ok. If you get stuck in traffic because there's an accident on the freeway and you lose your table at the most romantic restaurant, don't lose your cool. The important thing is that you want to marry your girlfriend, not what appetizers you eat beforehand, and she'll recognize that.
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