Should I Marry Him

Hello Madam Eya,Thank God for the job God is using you to do. I'll prefer you hide my ID. Please before I start this story, I'll like to let your readers knowthat as it is now, I don't want to go ahead and marry this man,because I know 80% of the advice will be in the negative. The purposeof this mail mainly, is to see if perhaps there is an off-chance of mybeing together with this guy."MY STORY:"Sometime in 2010, I met this man after Church, he had heard we are inthe same profession and approached me to say hi. He introduced himselfand gave me his card. At the time I was still in school, marriagewasn't even in my plans. So I stuck the card in my wallet and promptlyforgot about him.Fast forward 2 years later, I was searching for a job seriously andcame across his card in my wallet, and since he has his own office, Idecided to call him up in case there's an opening. He asked me to comeover and I did. His office is a small place, with a few people alreadyunder him, so he told me there was no vacancy.Since that reconnection, after Church he'll always say hello and oneparticular sunday, decided to give me a ride home.The man in question is 37, and as soon as I noticed he was developingan interest in me, I decided to snoop on him via facebook as I waswondering why he wasn't yet married. I saw a folder tagged wedding in2011 and opened. All the pictures had been deleted save one. Hiswedding band was clear for all to see.I'll try to make this short, because it is a long and winding story.As soon as I saw that, I lost interest in him. A few weeks after thathe requested a date with me and that there was something important hehas to say. I also told him that there was equally something I wantedto find out.We fixed the date and he told me his story. He reconnected online witha childhood friend of his sometime in 2011, they were friends beforeshe relocated to the US after secondary school. At that point he was34 and really wanted to settle, so he told her, and according to him,she started applying the pressure. Would call him from the US all thetime, profess love and all that. So he went along and proposed. Theydidn't court at all. He went and did the trad in her place in absentiaas she gave consent over the phone.The wedding date was fixed and throughout the period, not once did shereturn. Due to her absence, he said he never attended marriage classfor a day in our Church, because I'm sure he would have been talkedout of it by our pastors.Two weeks to the wedding, she breezed into the country with her dressand ring (not the set of couple's ring, just 1 for her) and insistedthat's the one they must use. He saw some warning flags and chose toignore them (long story).Well, he bought his own ring and they got married! Two weeks after,she went back to the US and he hasn't set his eyes on her again sincethen. She said if he wants to be with her, that he should relocate tothe US and this is a person that has a thriving office here in Nigeriaand was wondering which of them was supposed to do the relocation.The matter on ground now, is that its been almost 2years of his shammarriage to her. In a few months time, he'll be able to seek for anannulment from Court (since my Church is licensed to wed couples underthe Marriage Act).She has given her consent for the annulment as she said that themarriage is what she regrets doing most in her life. He showed menasty messages on his phone she sent to him and all that.Now he has said that its me he wants to marry. He's 10 years olderthan I am. Relating with him so far, I've found out that he's a verynice person that was just unlucky in love. He's attentive, caring to afault and uses every opportunity to tell me how much he loves me.Probably because of his experience, he treats me like an egg, and Ijust have to say I want the moon and he'll give me. He has beenhinting on getting me a car for my 27th birthday and said that whetherI refuse to marry him or not he wants to spoil me.My problem now is this, he had an elaborate wedding with her in myChurch, in fact a popular musician was at the reception. My family iswell known and respected in my Church, since its the same one we'vebeen attending since 1991. I've always had this dream of wedding in myChurch alter ever since I was little, I always said I don't mindfollowing the man to another Church afterwards.This is for those that may say we can wed in another Church. I cringeeach time I imagine the tongues that will wag when it comes out thatI'm getting married to a divorcee. The same people that attended hisfirst marriage, won't they be the same people that will come again ifwe decide to wed?I'm quite attractive, so having suitors has never been an issue. Mylast relationship with someone 1yr older than I am packed up after6years and left me heartbroken as he isn't ready to settle down. Now,this guy's age is an issue for me and also the issue of his papermarriage.I have other toasters now, but none so far is ready to settle downsoon and age really is no longer on my side, plus this guy's maturityand attention has made other guys pale in comparison. If he didn'thave this past, I would have married him in a heartbeat despite theage difference.So far I've refused to give him a definite answer, and told him till3months time when he has gotten the marriage annulled. My friends havedivided opinions. All are vehemently opposed to it and feel I'm toobeautiful to end up with someone like him, that I should wait and meeta single young man without a past. Just one of my friends is insupport and has said if he really gets the annulment, she doesn't seeanything wrong with my marrying him.In the meantime, he's steadily applying the pressure. I think I mayhave started liking him a little.I'm so confused, someone please help.PS: I am a born again Christian and have been speaking to God aboutthe whole situation. I've not gotten a leading yet. I don't even knowthe biblical standpoint of his divorce or anything. God bless youall.This article is (c) Copyright - All rights reservedwww.wivestownhallconnection.com